Redeeming Sex: Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality (Forge Partnership Books), by Debra Hirsch
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Redeeming Sex: Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality (Forge Partnership Books), by Debra Hirsch
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Missio Alliance Essential Reading List of 2015 2015 Readers' Choice Award Winner One of Seedbed's 10 Notable Books from 2015 Nothing has exposed the gap between the church and the broader society quite like the cultural argument over sexuality. Relationships, identities, orientations and even seemingly straightforward concepts such as gender have cut battle lines between the church and the world. In the fog of war and the cloud of conflict, it's increasingly hard to see our way clearly. There is hope, however. Debra Hirsch has seen it firsthand―in meaningful lifelong relationships with LGBT friends and neighbors, in Christian fellowships and in movements that have held a concern for people created in God's image and a high view of the Bible's teaching on sexuality in constructive tension. When you consider the world from the perspective of God's kingdom mission, it turns out the smoke clears and a redemptive imagination takes root. Discover a holistic, biblical vision of sex and gender that honors God and offers good news to the world.
Redeeming Sex: Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality (Forge Partnership Books), by Debra Hirsch- Amazon Sales Rank: #39226 in Books
- Brand: IVP Books
- Published on: 2015-05-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .60" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
Review "This book demonstrates an unwavering Christ-like love for all humanity, and carves out a space for open conversation about sexuality. It flies in the face of the escalating culture wars of our day and invites us to imagine a Church of the future that is shaped by the Gospel virtues of love and unity." (C. Christopher Smith, Relevant Magazine, May/June 2015)"Deb Hirsch has given us a real gift in this book. She has brought biblical clarity to one of the most misunderstood and controversial topics of the day. Many have either sensationalized or minimized our sexuality, leaving us confused, embarrassed or ashamed about the sexual nature of our humanity. But Deb has taken in this beautiful gift of God and woven it together with a Jesus-centered vision of how sexuality can glorify God and lead us to flourish. A much-needed and redemptive book." (Jon Tyson, author, Sacred Roots, founding pastor, Trinity Grace Church, New York)"If you are willing to invest the time to listen―really listen―to what Deb Hirsch is saying about the vexing and complex nature of human sexuality, you won't fail to be moved by her allegiance to radical grace, her trust in the potency of genuine hospitality and her unyielding confidence in the power of God to reconcile, repair and renew us all." (Michael Frost, author of Incarnate and Exiles)"With lived experience, direct frankness and a pastoral heart, Deb Hirsch addresses the church on sexuality. In so doing, Redeeming Sex prepares the way for the places the church must go to be 'among' today's confused and strife-ridden world of sexuality. It is a vulnerable gift that moves us beyond faulty stereotypes and pre-set notions. I cannot think of a better book to start the conversation." (David Fitch, Northern Seminary, author of Prodigal Christianity)"Finally. A thoughtful, biblical, yet paradigm-busting discussion on the hottest topic in the church and culture today. Redeeming Sex pulls no punches yet graciously guides us toward the heart of God in our human sexuality." (Hugh Halter, author of Flesh)"I can't think of a person I'd rather listen to give us biblical, Jesus-lens insight―out of the mixture of opinions, confusion, joy, difficulties, grittiness, honesty, hurts, healing, reality, questions, wonder and beauty of this topic―than my friend Deb Hirsch. I believe this is going to totally connect with the hearts of so many needing to move beyond the usual explanations or ways this discussion normally happens as we rethink, rediscover and redeem sexuality." (Dan Kimball, pastor, Vintage Faith Church, author, They Like Jesus but Not the Church)"Join the conversation about Redeeming Sex. Deb takes a challenging conversation and brings humility, authenticity and truth to help us all talk more openly and honestly about this important topic. Thank you, Deb Hirsch!" (Dave Ferguson, lead pastor, Community Christian Church, lead visionary, NewThing)"Debra Hirsch's own story―and what she learned about sex before and after meeting Jesus―is both convincing and convicting. But the book is more than testimony. Debra makes intelligent, faithful use of Scripture and of authors who have engaged with this topic. She also untangles key differences between sexuality and cultural roles. Noting the Bible's extensive 'sexual language and imagery,' Debra affirms that 'our sexuality lies close to our spirituality.' Her book can lead Christians to an integration of sex and sanctity that enriches both―and makes us more faithful and redemptive disciples of Jesus Christ." (Howard A. Snyder, author of Homosexuality and the Church)"The beautiful heart of Redeeming Sex is an exploration of the claim that Jesus is the embodiment of sexuality and spirituality, and in him, we find our model for right living and right loving. With powerful personal narrative, witty and earthy language, and sincere scriptural study, Debra Hirsch encourages readers to connect all of their lives―even the sexual dimension of life―with the life of Christ. The book provides a clear and thoughtful example of how to maintain a traditional Christian sexual ethic and at the same time treat both gay and straight persons equally. Traditionalists seeking this balance will learn much from her stories and advice." (Jenell Paris, Messiah College, author of The End of Sexual Identity)"Debra Hirsch's wise pastoral perspective places Jesus firmly in the center of our sexuality and our relationships." (Craig Detweiler, Outreach Magazine's Resources of the Year, March/April 2016)"This book challenges us to love God and people through the lens of our sexuality. Deb pushes us to see sexuality not as something to be done secretly in closets and dark rooms but as the beauty of God. This book challenges―for sure―but it's a must read." (Leroy Barber, global executive director, Word Made Flesh)"Rarely have I anticipated the publication of a book as much as I have with Deb Hirsch's Redeeming Sex: Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality. After waiting for more than two years, I can say without hesitation that it was well worth the wait. In Redeeming Sex, Deb provides a thoughtful, holistic, biblical vision of sex and gender issues that not only honors the ways of Jesus, but also offers a much-needed and helpful approach to thinking well about one of the most misunderstood and controversial topics of the day. . . . I believe this is going to be one of the most important books for the church to grapple with for years to come. It really is one of those books that every Christian should read." (Brad Brisco, Missional Church Network, April 20, 2015)"I'm so grateful to Deb Hirsch for writing the best book on this conversation I have read. It speaks to the heart of our identity in Christ. It addresses complex and sensitive realities and tensions with grace, love, compassion, truth, justice and mercy. It is prophetic, profound, candid, transparent and should be read by every Christian. It will challenge you to the core, but we can no longer stick our heads in the sand and ignore the fact that people are hurting and need real answers to real issues. I am giving a copy of this book to everyone I know. It's that important." (Christine Caine, director, Equip & Empower Ministries)"Discover a holistic, biblical vision of sex and gender that honours God and offers good news to the world." (The Light Canada, May 2015)"[Hirsch] is a delightful storyteller who addresses the touchy subject of sexuality from a variety of perspectives; however, she stays completely on track biblically even when it would be tempting to want to go to more comfortable places. . . . With lots of personal stories and real-life conversations from folks at every walk of life, her words demand attention not only because she writes compellingly but also because Christians need to be re-educated on all things sexual." (Michele Howe, CBA Retailers + Resources, May 2015)"Hirsch blends research, Scripture, theology and her own varied experience of sexuality and ministry into what she calls 'a testimony and a challenge to the church.' She brings admirable honesty and vulnerability to this mix, and the way she tells her own story models the humility and dignity to which she calls others. Hirsch speaks from within the evangelical community and primarily to the evangelical community―defined in the broadest possible sense. . . . [T]his book is important for the whole church." (Donna Marsh, The Presbyterian Outlook, July 16, 2015)"This book hails from a leading missional church leader who has lived it, redeemed it, and is now burdened by the challenge to help the church understand that at our core, we are all sexual beings, and our sexuality is nothing to blush about. In a post-Obergefell era, the church can no longer approach this issue haphazardly or without the insight of LGBT Christians." (Andrew Dragos, The Seedbed Blog, December 8, 2015)"Redeeming Sex is a book that will transform the conversations in the evangelical world and beyond about sexuality and how we can embrace and love one another wherever we are on our journey toward redemption. Seriously―This book is a game changer, and I love it." (Michelle Wegner, MichelleWegner.com, April 20, 2015)"In Redeeming Sex, Deb Hirsch helps the church catch a vision of relationship that can lead to love and life where now there is often confusion and pain. She tears down the barriers and fears that have long been in place to protect us from the 'dangers' of true intimacy. I appreciate her openness and honesty as hard questions around gender and sexuality are explored from a place of love and a desire for holy intimacy." (Bruxy Cavey, teaching pastor at the Meeting House and author of The End of Religion)
About the Author Deb Hirsch is a speaker, church leader and writer who has led churches in both Australia and Los Angeles. She is one of the founders of Forge Mission Training Network and is a member of the Forge America national team. She also serves as a board member for Missio Alliance and was part of the leadership team of Christian Associates, a church planting movement in Europe, North & South America. She is the co-author (with Alan Hirsch) of Untamed: Reactivating a Missional Form of Discipleship, and her new book Redeeming Sex reflects her own journey and attempts to bring new conversations about sexuality into the context of the church. Deb has been involved in social work, community development and as a trained counselor has worked in the field of sexuality for over twenty-five years. She and her husband live in community with others in Los Angeles.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful. This book will challenge and surprise you in so many ways.... By MABrown Since I first met Deb and Alan Hirsch, and heard Deb speak on this topic, back in January of 2007, I've been waiting for her to write this book. It was well worth the wait.This book is one of those that everyone must read. Then everyone must process it with someone else. Perhaps with one person, perhaps in a small group. Each of us have experienced books that cause us to shift. This is one of them. But be prepared for it to not be what you were expecting – whatever it is that you're expecting.I think Deb has highlighted a basic human problem. It is a problem with integrity – with the proper integration of spirituality and sexuality. And because we have functioned within this particular disintegration for so very long, we have come to normalize it. We don't know we're blind because we think this is the way it is supposed to be.Hirsch is someone who is comfortable talking about things most people aren't. She is like a fresh wind on a smoggy day. Deb has a way of taking normal things and hosing off the shame that has been applied. She sneaks past the watchful dragons of society – especially church society – and turns on the lights, chasing away specters of ignorance too long masquerading as truth.Deb has essentially asked us to pick up our relational tool belts and start intentionally using what the late psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck, called discipline's tools, to help us learn to receive God's love, return God's love, and share God's love with one another. She is calling us to the tasks of discipleship as we live in the Way of Jesus.The tool that allows us to delay gratification has too often been misused – like using a wrench as a hammer. Even worse, when it comes to sexuality, it has too often been a matter of denying gratification. And this comes from not understanding the connection between spirituality and sexuality. Deb calls them two sides of the same coin. Perhaps I would say that sexuality and spirituality are like the wings of a bird – they have to work together if the bird is going to fly. Deb's words open the door of a cage that has kept so many birds cooped up for so long that they had forgotten they were meant to fly!The tool that allows us to accept responsibility has been corroded with shame and guilt – bringing it out bring condemnation and dishonor from those who have forgotten that sanctification is a life-long journey of remembering that Jesus is our sanctification...we are accepted, we belong, because of what he did, not by what we have accomplished. Rather than always being ready to confess our sins one to another, we wear masks and hide behind pleasantries. Who are we trying to fool? Deb calls us to transparency and vulnerability so that forgiveness and restoration might arise.The tool that allows us to be dedicated to the truth is too often blunted by ignorance. We are not really interested in what is true – just what is comfortable and consistent with what we already believe. Especially, what we have been told to believe by our leaders. We are discouraged from asking inconvenient questions and wrestling with our doubts and fears.She asks us to stop telling white lies – to ourselves and to one another. Particularly, Deb asks us to stop lying about sin – that some sins are “worse” than others. That we call upon our courage and humility and take the plank out of our eye before we go after the speck in the eye of another. She calls us to stand in the sandals of Jesus and look at each other out of his eyes.Finally, the tool that allows us to keep things in balance – to see things in the proper context – has been removed from too many tool belts! Preconceptions and biases and stereotypes combine with fears and outright misinformation to throw us off balance. All too often this is packaged as obedience, when it is more about power and control. Deb calls us to face our own fears about our own issues. Only then can we tackle our fears about others.Deb's transparency and vulnerability as she shares her story, and the stories of her family and friends, is almost as shocking as the details. And that's because she tells things just as they are – normal. She asks us to set aside what we might think “normal” is and stretch ourselves. Peck defines love as extending oneself for the spiritual growth of the self as well as of another. Hirsch provides fresh perspectives on many angles surrounding the issues of gender, sexual expression, marriage, celibacy – and what the church has thought about them through the centuries. Let's just say that not all of the church teachings have been consistent with the Scriptures, as seen through Hebraic lenses and the life and ministry of Jesus.When I teach something that might be challenging or controversial, I challenge those learning to not get derailed but set aside their disbelief long enough to listen deeply and understand what I'm actually saying. When they read or hear something that brings up questions, make a quick note of the thought or question – to discuss later, if needed. More often than not, the discipline of listening fully finds a way of letting go of those quickly scribbled questions. It always helps one ask the questions that remain with much more humility and openness.I ask you to approach this thoughtful and humble and informative book with that same respect. Set aside what you think you know and let Deb take you deep inside her story. Let yourself feel what she experienced so your empathy rises above your fears and lets love cast them out.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful. Time To Get Real About Sex By Nick Peters Okay. It's not much of a secret that men like sex and like to think about it. Well, maybe that last part isn't as true. Men like to fantasize about sex. They like to dream about sex. They especially like to have sex. Not many of them enjoy really thinking about sex. I try to be different, although I certainly enjoy all the other activities, and so when I saw Hirsch's book on sexuality, I decided to pick it up. Not only that, it's often good to get a woman's perspective on sex. Not only that, but it's good to get the view of a Christian woman on sex.Hirsch's book details how she came to Jesus and she came from a lifestyle that had practically done everything sexual that you can imagine, and then some. Today, she says she has a more traditional stance, but when she became a Christian, she had a lot of questions about what the church had to say about sex. That shouldn't be a shock since so many of us today have the same questions, both inside and outside of the church. Thankfully, Hirsch found a church that while they consisted largely of senior citizens while she and her friends were young rebel types, they loved her with the love of Jesus and the pastor made sure to get them to Jesus first and then let Him be the guiding light in their sexual issues.So right at the start, I'd like to point out a problem we have in our churches. How often do we talk about sex? I mean really, how often in church do you hear talk about sex? It's hardly ever. We barely say a thing and when we do, we tend to speak in euphemisms and if it's some forbidden dirty topic. How often does sex meanwhile show up in the Bible? Abundantly. How much does it show up in the popular culture? Try to turn on the television and not see it! How often are we talking about it in politics? You seen all the debates going on on the nature of marriage? What are we saying about it? Squat.Hirsch wants to have a real conversation about it and it goes beyond the "Don't do this" that we hear over and over. It's really about how we relate to one another. Hirsch says all of our relationships are really sexual to some extent. Of course, some of us are hearing that and thinking "What?! There are several people I don't have sex with and I don't have any desire to have sex with!" Hirsch would agree with you. What Hirsch means is that all relationships are to have some degree of intimacy. All involve some sharing of yourself. There is just one relationship for a Christian that is to involve genital sexuality and that is the one that takes place in marriage.This kind of intimacy is what we all long for on some extent and even those who take a vow of celibacy are longing for it. They long for it with God, which is ultimately what Heaven is. (You know Hirsch's book is going to be good when the first title is "Oh my God!") The moment of release that all of genital sexuality is building up to is meant to be seen as a moment of unity and oneness. It is the end result of a final openness to one another, and it is a picture of what Heaven is like. So many in our society chase after that moment and those of us who are married when it comes to sex can suddenly find ourselves being obsessed when the possibility comes up. Personally, I'd consider it the closest one comes to having another personality. It really is reaching for something greater than yourself and getting caught in the experience of another person.That's what Heaven is also.Heaven is not defined by streets of gold or by having a mansion or by playing a harp and sitting on a cloud. (especially since we don't become angels, but that's another point.) Heaven is defined by being in right relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Heaven is found by dying to ourselves and giving our lives to Him. Heaven is found by having total and exclusive openness to God and being open to all of His blessings in our lives. Heaven is standing before God naked in our being as it were with no secrets and Him making us to be who we are and giving His life to us.Which is kind of what sex is entirely. Sex is the symbol that is meant to point us to the reality of God.The sad thing is we can rob people of this when we tell them sex is something to be feared. Our culture wants to run to sex. We want to run from sex. In reality, Christians should be leading in the best sex that there is. Our God is the one who created sex. It's all His idea. His pathway should be seen as the best pathway to the best sex that there is. The rest of the world should be looking at the church and saying "I don't know what they have, but I sure want it." Should they want us in our holiness and love? Absolutely, but that should also carry over into our sex lives that should be an example to the world.Hirsch rightly quotes Chesterton who told us that when a man knocks on the door of a brothel, he is looking for God. I wholeheartedly agree. Our chasing after sex is a chasing after intimacy and being accepted and joy and openness. We just too often go to the wrong spot. We spend so much time with the symbol that we miss the far greater reality that sex is pointing to. We stop at the symbol talking about how good it is, and indeed it is, that we don't realize we're getting a foretaste. Is sex really just a happy accident in a cosmic meaningless universe, or is it a pointer to something beyond itself?Also, Hirsch wants us to look to Jesus as our example. Jesus is indeed a sexual person. No. I don't mean any nonsense like He had a romantic interest in Mary Magdalene or that He was having sex of any kind. I mean that everything He did, He did as a man. In fact, He also did this as a single man, which should be a reminder as Hirsch points out to those of us who can be tempted in the church to look down on singles as if there is something wrong with them because they do not have a spouse. Some of them might want one, and we can help, but some might just not want to get married, and that's also okay. How can it be a wrong path to choose if Jesus chose it?The sexual love that we want we often want cheaply, and this can be through promiscuous sex and through pornography. Real sexuality involves real intimacy. It involves being open to the other person entirely, which means you are capable of being hurt. Marriage is one of the most sacred institutions that there is, and it is also one of the most dangerous and risky ones to enter into. When you enter into marriage, you are tying your life to another person and saying that you are open to them. That entails opening yourself up to their love, which is good, but it also entails that you will get hurt from time to time. That's part of the risk. I have to realize that sadly, I will hurt my wife from time to time. It's a sad reality. I am a fallen sinful man and sometimes that flesh will come out. That's part of marriage though. You are open to the hurt because the love you gain is so much greater.The last half of the book focuses a lot on issues involving homosexuality. Hirsch makes a lot of good points here, though some will be a bit concerned wishing she took a stronger stance at times. Hirsch is certainly right that we have too often given the image of hate-filled and intolerant. Many of us do not, but sadly, the ones that usually get the microphone from the media are the ones we don't want. Now in all of this, I will state definitely that I think homosexual actions are wrong. I think that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. At the same time, I do not have hatred for homosexuals and too often that is assumed. We have often treated homosexuality as if it's a disease keeping people away from Jesus. For those of us who do disagree with homosexual practice, we need to realize still that the first way to love our homosexual neighbor, is to get them to Jesus, just like anyone else.We also too often make a dangerous statement about God removing homosexual desires from someone if they come to Jesus. I've heard people say from the pulpit that Jesus will do that if you come to Him and you struggle with them. He could of course. He very well could. This is not a guarantee. As a heterosexual man, Jesus does not take away all my desires to sleep with other women, or take away all of my sinful desires specifically. There are many sins of the flesh that I still struggle with it. Why would we think that Jesus would take away the sinful desires of someone in the homosexual lifestyle and not do the same for someone in the heterosexual lifestyle? I still have my cross that I have to carry.The first thing we have to do is to learn the person in the LGBT community as a fellow human being even if we disagree with their lifestyle to the core. I often tell men who are wanting to witness to male homosexuals is that the best thing to do is just to be a friend to them. I'm sure they've heard enough times what the church thinks about what they do. You don't have to for a moment affirm what they do, but you do realize that they are human beings that Jesus loves and died for as well. Dare I say it, but maybe you should consider treating them the way you want to be treated? Of course, if they ask your opinion, that doesn't mean you give a false opinion. If they ask you if you think they are doing something immoral, you can say that, but you yourself are also doing things you know are immoral and you are still to love yourself.Ultimately, I think Hirsch's book is quite good. I don't agree with everything naturally. I don't think the story of Origen emasculating himself is accurate for instance. The story shows up about a century later and Origen himself was someone who normally interpreted Scripture allegorically. Still, no essential point resides on such a claim. Also, while I do wish sometimes a stronger stance had been taken, I try to realize that Hirsch is trying to walk a very fine line here. There is much that is good in this book and there are plenty of parts I circled and underlined in my reading. I hope it opens us up more to a real conversation on sex and sexuality.In Christ,Nick PetersDeeper Waters Christian Ministries
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful. It's All About The Love By Michelle Wegner Redeeming Sex is a book that will transform the conversations in the evangelical world and beyond about sexuality and how we can embrace and love one another wherever we are on our journey toward redemption. Seriously-- This book is a game changer, and I love it.Deb’s thoughtful insight, impeccable research and theological perspectives on human sexuality are so right on, and resonate so deeply with everything in my soul, I know I will use this book as a reference for years to come to guide and help others in love and grace who have been so wounded by well meaning “Church” people, trying to make everyone look alike, think alike, and act alike.So much irrevocable damage has been done in the name of Christ to anyone who does not fit the “Normal” paradigm of sexuality (whatever that is). Redeeming Sex sends a message loud and clear that there is no one, not one person who does not bear the image on God brightly on their soul. I think this book will give us all a greater understanding of ourselves and each other as we move forward into a more Jesus loving, Jesus believing, Jesus acting kind of people. I am excited for pretty much all of humanity to read Deb’s book.
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